You may be chasing your peers, not your goals
Comparison does not just make you feel behind.
It can quietly convince you to build a business you never actually wanted.
That is the part I think a lot of real estate agents miss.
We think comparison is just an emotional thing. We scroll Facebook or Instagram, see another agent’s listing, closing, award, or under contract post, and feel that little punch in the gut.
“They’re doing more than me.”
“They’re growing faster than me.”
“They must have it figured out.”
And before long, we are not just noticing what other agents are doing. We are measuring our worth, our progress, and our business against it.
That is a dangerous place to live.
Not because other agents are doing anything wrong by sharing their wins. There is nothing wrong with celebrating success or showing the market that you are active.
The danger is when someone else’s success starts becoming your scoreboard.
The Wrong Scoreboard
Early in my career, I got caught in this.
I was selling quite a few homes, and I found myself constantly checking the ranking report. I wanted to know where I stood. I wanted to know who was ahead of me. I wanted to know how close I was to moving up.
At the time, I thought that was the goal.
Sell more houses.
Move up the list.
Be seen as successful.
Then, as I started doing more business, I began having closings with agents I had spent a lot of time comparing myself to. From the outside, they looked like they were absolutely crushing it.
And many of them were.
But the closer I got, the more I realized something important.
Not every agent is building the same business.
Some agents are focused on volume of homes sold. Some are focused on profitability. Some are building teams. Some are building flexibility. Some are chasing market share. Some are trying to simplify.
None of those are wrong.
But they are different.
That was the part I had missed.
I was comparing my business to other agents without fully understanding their goals, their expenses, their model, their season of life, or what they were actually trying to build.
And I remember thinking, “Wait a minute. What am I actually chasing?”
Because from the outside, it looked like certain people were way ahead.
But ahead according to what?
More units?
More signs?
More posts?
A higher spot on a ranking report?
That may be success for one agent.
But is it success for you?
That was a turning point for me.
I realized I was not always chasing my goals.
I was chasing my peers.
And that is a race you cannot win.
Comparison Makes You Build Someone Else’s Business
This is where comparison gets expensive.
It does not just make you feel bad.
It can make you start making decisions that do not even align with the life you say you want.
You say you want more freedom, but you chase whatever makes you look busier.
You say you want more profit, but you measure success by volume alone.
You say you want more time with your family, but you keep checking how your business compares to everyone else’s.
And I get it.
Recognition feels good.
Being seen feels good.
Moving up the ranking report feels good.
Having other agents notice you feels good.
But none of that automatically means your business is healthy.
And none of it automatically means your business is aligned with what you actually want.
You can build a high-volume business and love it.
You can build a smaller, more intentional business and love it.
You can build a team.
You can stay solo.
You can chase market share.
You can chase lifestyle.
There is not one right version of success in real estate.
But there is a wrong version.
And that is building a business based on someone else’s goals while ignoring your own.
We Are Not Reading the Same Book
We have all heard the saying, “Do not compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty.”
And there is truth in that.
But I think in real estate, most of us are not even reading the same book anymore, and yet we think we are.
One agent may be trying to scale.
Another may be trying to simplify.
One agent may want to be the most recognized name in the market.
Another may want a quiet referral business that gives them more time at home.
One agent may need more transactions to reach their goals.
Another may need fewer clients served at a higher level.
So why are we comparing them like they are playing the same game?
They are not.
And neither are you.
You do not know another agent’s full picture. You do not know what their business costs them, what it gives them, what season they are in, or what they are actually trying to build.
You are looking at the outside of someone else’s business and using it to judge the inside of yours.
That is not fair to you.
And it is not wise.
Build the Business You Actually Want
The answer is not to stop growing.
It is not to stop marketing.
It is not to stop celebrating wins.
There is nothing wrong with posting listings, closings, awards, or success stories. There is nothing wrong with wanting to sell more homes, grow your volume, build a team, or become one of the top agents in your market.
But you have to know why you want it.
Is it because it aligns with your goals?
Or is it because you feel behind when you look at someone else?
That is the question.
Because the goal is not to build a business that only looks impressive from the outside.
The goal is to build a business that supports the life you actually want to live.
Maybe that means more profit.
Maybe that means more time.
Maybe that means more volume.
Maybe that means a bigger team.
Maybe that means staying small and intentional.
Whatever it is, you have to define it for yourself.
Because comparison will always tell you that you are behind.
Clarity will remind you where you are actually going.
You do not need to win someone else’s race.
You need to stop long enough to ask if the race you are running is even the one you wanted to be in.
It can quietly convince you to build a business you never actually wanted.
That is the part I think a lot of real estate agents miss.
We think comparison is just an emotional thing. We scroll Facebook or Instagram, see another agent’s listing, closing, award, or under contract post, and feel that little punch in the gut.
“They’re doing more than me.”
“They’re growing faster than me.”
“They must have it figured out.”
And before long, we are not just noticing what other agents are doing. We are measuring our worth, our progress, and our business against it.
That is a dangerous place to live.
Not because other agents are doing anything wrong by sharing their wins. There is nothing wrong with celebrating success or showing the market that you are active.
The danger is when someone else’s success starts becoming your scoreboard.
The Wrong Scoreboard
Early in my career, I got caught in this.
I was selling quite a few homes, and I found myself constantly checking the ranking report. I wanted to know where I stood. I wanted to know who was ahead of me. I wanted to know how close I was to moving up.
At the time, I thought that was the goal.
Sell more houses.
Move up the list.
Be seen as successful.
Then, as I started doing more business, I began having closings with agents I had spent a lot of time comparing myself to. From the outside, they looked like they were absolutely crushing it.
And many of them were.
But the closer I got, the more I realized something important.
Not every agent is building the same business.
Some agents are focused on volume of homes sold. Some are focused on profitability. Some are building teams. Some are building flexibility. Some are chasing market share. Some are trying to simplify.
None of those are wrong.
But they are different.
That was the part I had missed.
I was comparing my business to other agents without fully understanding their goals, their expenses, their model, their season of life, or what they were actually trying to build.
And I remember thinking, “Wait a minute. What am I actually chasing?”
Because from the outside, it looked like certain people were way ahead.
But ahead according to what?
More units?
More signs?
More posts?
A higher spot on a ranking report?
That may be success for one agent.
But is it success for you?
That was a turning point for me.
I realized I was not always chasing my goals.
I was chasing my peers.
And that is a race you cannot win.
Comparison Makes You Build Someone Else’s Business
This is where comparison gets expensive.
It does not just make you feel bad.
It can make you start making decisions that do not even align with the life you say you want.
You say you want more freedom, but you chase whatever makes you look busier.
You say you want more profit, but you measure success by volume alone.
You say you want more time with your family, but you keep checking how your business compares to everyone else’s.
And I get it.
Recognition feels good.
Being seen feels good.
Moving up the ranking report feels good.
Having other agents notice you feels good.
But none of that automatically means your business is healthy.
And none of it automatically means your business is aligned with what you actually want.
You can build a high-volume business and love it.
You can build a smaller, more intentional business and love it.
You can build a team.
You can stay solo.
You can chase market share.
You can chase lifestyle.
There is not one right version of success in real estate.
But there is a wrong version.
And that is building a business based on someone else’s goals while ignoring your own.
We Are Not Reading the Same Book
We have all heard the saying, “Do not compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty.”
And there is truth in that.
But I think in real estate, most of us are not even reading the same book anymore, and yet we think we are.
One agent may be trying to scale.
Another may be trying to simplify.
One agent may want to be the most recognized name in the market.
Another may want a quiet referral business that gives them more time at home.
One agent may need more transactions to reach their goals.
Another may need fewer clients served at a higher level.
So why are we comparing them like they are playing the same game?
They are not.
And neither are you.
You do not know another agent’s full picture. You do not know what their business costs them, what it gives them, what season they are in, or what they are actually trying to build.
You are looking at the outside of someone else’s business and using it to judge the inside of yours.
That is not fair to you.
And it is not wise.
Build the Business You Actually Want
The answer is not to stop growing.
It is not to stop marketing.
It is not to stop celebrating wins.
There is nothing wrong with posting listings, closings, awards, or success stories. There is nothing wrong with wanting to sell more homes, grow your volume, build a team, or become one of the top agents in your market.
But you have to know why you want it.
Is it because it aligns with your goals?
Or is it because you feel behind when you look at someone else?
That is the question.
Because the goal is not to build a business that only looks impressive from the outside.
The goal is to build a business that supports the life you actually want to live.
Maybe that means more profit.
Maybe that means more time.
Maybe that means more volume.
Maybe that means a bigger team.
Maybe that means staying small and intentional.
Whatever it is, you have to define it for yourself.
Because comparison will always tell you that you are behind.
Clarity will remind you where you are actually going.
You do not need to win someone else’s race.
You need to stop long enough to ask if the race you are running is even the one you wanted to be in.
A Reminder to feed your fire,
Lyle
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